This month Quinn will be three. We love the birthday milestones. Every birthday is a reason to celebrate all the things we’re grateful for: our families and friends, stable health for the time being, decent kidney function, compassionate doctors and nurses, and a life full of boundless energy and youth. Birthdays are the promise of hope that all will be okay.

But as you know. Things are not okay. We’re faced with medical and educational challenges at every turn it seems. And sometimes, when we think about our situation long enough, we’re terrified to the core. Times like this we call upon our faith to carry us through. Faith that we’ll see many more birthdays for Quinn. And graduations, marriage/kids, career success, and a life full of compassion for others. Perhaps faith and hope are intertwined in our house.

I don’t believe God wants my children, or any children for that matter, to suffer painful lives and die as a result of a devastating disease. I can’t believe that God would want that for us, or for Gage and Quinn, and frankly, if I did think that I would be angry at God. I know for some people when faced with a crisis deal with it believing God chose them for it. I believe God knew what would happen, and put people in our lives to surround us with love in such a way that I would learn about the undying love of God. I believe that you people in our lives have enough faith and hope when we don’t.

And all the while we celebrate the lives of Gage and Quinn, and her upcoming birthday; we’re reminded of the fragile nature of the kids’ condition. We’ve started more meds for Gage including EPO (Procrit) injections for Gage and it is not fun. He’s coping as best that can be expected. A little old for distraction from THE MOMMY WITH THE NEEDLE and a little young to understand why they are necessary.

Did I mention how much Gage hates needles? And let me tell you, that THE MOMMY WITH THE NEEDLE doesn’t make the needle any more pleasant for the boy. We’ll be bringing him in for labs at the end of the week to see if his body is responding. Dr. Wonderful thinks it will work. Gage and Quinn’s anemia isn’t caused by acute renal failure like normal progression for ARPKD kids (they aren’t in acute failure yet) she believes the anemia is really connected to the other kidney disease (which isn’t really seen in kids this young).

So we’ll wait for the lab results. And we’ll hope. And in the meantime, we’ll celebrate Quinn’s milestone. I tend to think we appreciate and savor the milestones differently than families with healthy children. Or at least I hope we do.