When we moved from our old neighborhood a year and a half ago we were in panic mode. We moved in two weeks before Gage began kindergarten (Take 1) and one of those weeks included our annual vacation to the beach – what I like to refer to as a “family trip” – not  really a vacation, like one might think of as a vacation, you know, before kids entered the picture.

During the last year, we were so busy selling the old house, getting the kids settled into new schools and working (not to mention how much work a pesky kidney disease or annoying vision disorder can add to a day) that I didn’t notice that I never mourned the loss of our old neighborhood.

The City we lived in was a little town within a metropolitan city and a historic area founded in the late 1800’s. We loved it there. The people were great and we felt like we were part of a community. We developed several friendships that would have grown had we remained there. Staying there wasn’t an option we could choose. We had to move to an area where the public schools could handle the special needs of the kids.

I miss the friendships that just happened by chance because there were parks and pools and parent co-ops and I miss that most of the people in our social circle knew about the kids’ ARPKD & OMA and our struggles. It was just easier. Because the kids aren’t noticeably “sick” or “challenged” at first glance, we have to decide when people should know. If I don’t share it I feel like we’re pretending (yes, we’re posers sometimes). And because Gage was held back and will be turning 7 while in Kindergarten (Take 2) people think “there must be a reason” and I want to give it to them. In general conversations about kids and schools, I immediately tell people about Quinn’s problems and about the special ed school she attends.

Why is that?

A simple reason is that it’s easier if they know. But If I’m honest, I want to weed them out (or in as the case may be) as quickly as possible. Can they handle it? After almost six years, I can tell almost immediately if our kids will play together and if a family friendship will form.

Let’s face it – we come with a lot of baggage, oh yes we do. If you know us, you know what is going on with the kids’ health because we’re like that…share, share, share. I’ll have to ponder if the reason we’ve not enlarged our friendship circle by much is because of my inability to share the entire story over and over. And if we even have to in order to widen that circle.