This was some Sunday and Julian was out of town. It was after church and lunch and it was in February when it should have been cold, but wasn’t. When I realized they were playing in the mud, I changed them into t-shirts and play shoes/boots. I remember sitting outside and just watching them create this muddy mess in the front yard and being in the moment watching them.

I hate to admit that if they weren’t sick kids with an uncertain future, I probably would not have let them destroy the landscaping. And now, looking back at the picture, I’m thankful that on this day I was in the moment.

This behavior modification protocol is working I’m happy to say. Gage is adjusting well to his new classroom and teacher and doing well in special ed. I even attended school lunch #4* today as a treat for him. I’m a tad scared to say things are going well to our friends, family and the Internets for fear of jinxing the whole thing, but there you go. I said it.

It was nothing – this new child management program, masterminded with the help of Dr. KATB (Knows All Things Behavioral). The 300 positive things we say everyday, recognizing good behavior with loud praising affirmations** and noting it by writing it down on poster boards all day long, about $2000 gladly-out-of-pocket spent on the psychologist, printing and keeping up with Gage’s “Daily Report” cards from his teachers, attending school for lunch once (maybe twice) a week as a reward, and being consistent with the timeouts (which have decreased dramatically) have helped.

It was just so simple. You know…besides all of that.

*This behavior stuff is not for sissies.

**That means we don’t just say “Good job Gage.” We loudly, with the most excited voice we can muster, say: “GAGE, I REALLY, REALLY LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE DOING THAT! YOU HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH! YOU ARE AWESOME!"

This might be the World’s Cutest Picture of Quinn.

Quinn was about 23 months old. We were enjoying a day at a playground at the zoo. To slide, one had to climb a long, slight sloped hill. Quinn would climb the hill, slide, then wait for me to retrieve her walker so she could do it again. I don’t remember how many times she did it, but I remember being struck by how wonderful it was that she was participating in a "normal" activity for a child her age. And I remember people watching Quinn, not knowing if they should be sad, and pitty-filled or happy because she was so darn cute and due to my reaction, accomplishing so much.

I have a long post about how people reacted to the walker in general, how it helped her, and how I know of parents that do not want their kids to use walkers outside of the house for the attention it draws, and for what people might think. And to that I say – can you imagine if I had missed watching Quinn this day at the zoo, because she was in my lap or in a bucket swing unable to move?

I’m tired of talking about Gage’s behavior. But I will tell you that he had three okay days in the new class. Just a couple of issues, which the teacher says could be due to the fact that he doesn’t know the routine. Also during circle reading time he wasn’t paying attention – but she recognized that he spends about 2 hours of reading resource while out of the class. Thanks for noticing that could be a reason. And she loves to communicate by email. Poor thing won’t know what hit her every morning when she logs on.

For your Friday viewing pleasure, here’s some visuals from our last cemetary visit.

Such sweet siblinngs they are.

And silly.

Sorry Boynton family for the disrespect of sitting on your family’s headstone.

Things are changing so quickly with the CMP – School Version, that it’s hard to keep up. Gage is quickly using up all the parental energy I have allotted for him this quarter. I’m going to have to use the energy I have set aside for next quarter now. What will happen if I’m always in arrears, quarter after quarter? Will that energy be taken from another area? Say, housekeeping? Or grocery shopping and cooking? Where will we be then?

Week in Review:

Gage will start an extra hour a day in the "resource" room, which is really the politically correct term for "special education" room. Makes no difference to me what it is called as along as the resources they are providing help him learn and the extra time keeps him out of trouble. (They are a lovely lot, these resource people. Full of wonderful, beneficial resources. I feel I must say that they have done everything they can to help Gage get and stay on track.)

Gage is doing super at home. Great listener, awesome helper, nice, polite. Dare I say? You know I will. He’s been down right charming.

Because of his behavior at school, I’ve been referring to Gage as "Ju-Vee" behind his back, as in "I wonder if Ju-Vee would like some juice while he is playing?" Tacky?

They are moving Gage to another classroom, probationary (ha! that’s the right word for the boy!). I picture it like a field trip on a daily basis. He’ll be registered under one teacher’s class, but attending another. He’ll be pulled out for the "resource" room 1 1/2 hours total per day, as well as reading resource for 20 minutes a day.

And as for Gage’s teacher. Well, it has been a tough year. I can’t say anything else about why. But I need to say thanks for always loving our boy and doing your best for him. For whatever dynamics have changed this year from last I’m sorry. It’s Spring already. I have two words for you: Spring Break. Please enjoy a cocktail with an umbrella on me (hopefully on a beach somewhere) for what you’ve endured this year.

And finally, I’m off to have lunch with him today. I’m hoping that it will help motivate him instead of him have to wait all week for a pay-off. Menu you ask? Tacos and fixings, rice, black beans, and peaches.

The powers that be can’t say we don’t try.

Updated*

Gage scorecard: 3 days down (with good behavior at home and school) and 1 day to go. I think I’m having a school lunch tomorrow, complete with green section tray and nice ladies in hairnets and plastic gloves serving. The menu?

Galaxy Pizza or BBQ Sandwich, Patato Wedges, Peas & Carrots, Orange Wedges & Milk.

Come on…I know you are jealous, you know you are.

*Turns out that Gage was treating his teacher with disrespect and then laughing. So, there will be no pizza sharing lunches tomorrow. Um…listen up little boy. Not acceptable.