Gage started 1st grade this year. He’s been back in school two weeks. If you’ve been following along since the last school year you know that Gage had his share of problems.  He’d been having serious behavior issues at school that were causing great amounts of angst for me and serious amounts of wine to be consumed.  He blew through not one, but two gifted, patient teachers last year and numerous amounts of specialists. It was a traumatic year for all. Teacher number 1, for Kindergarten, Take 2 was very happy it was the end of the year and I’m pretty sure Gage was part of the reason.

Since last summer when we instituted The Program – a specially calculated, expensive behavior modification program for us parents at the capable hands of Dr. KATB (The fine doctor that Knows All Things Behavioral) – we’ve been on pins and needles about school.  Last year obviously and this year as well. We’ve worked hard to get to a place where Gage’s behavior was moderately normal for a boy his age. In fact, we still have to wake up every morning committed to instituting The Program’s rules and guidelines. I’m serious when I say there are charts and graphs and notes and stickers and poster boards in neon colors and a nauesous amount of praise spewing. It’s been some year that is for sure. Suffice it to say that even Dr. KATB* said, out of an act of compassion to a crying mother that "Gage is hard. He’s just hard" and he didn’t even actually have to raise him during this process.

Tonight I went to Gage’s school for curriculum night and also to specifically learn the particulars about his classroom setting. I’m thrilled to report that Gage has had a good start to the school year. He’s participating, listening, being a good friend** and he’s doing the school work and enjoying it. What about that? I demand that you thank the Behavior Gods right now. 

In addition, his teacher (I’m going to have to think of a moniker for her) let me share Gage’s kidney status with the other parents and invite them to the annual Walk for PKD event. She wanted to encourage his school mates to join us on Walk/Run day. After a few Q&As and sharing his situation and encouraging them to talk to their kids about Gage’s kidneys and transplant many parents offered their support. The reason to share on a grand scale? Really, when I break it down? I don’t want Gage and Quinn to feel shame. Not for the disease, the effects, the treatments, the transplant. If we hide it I’m afraid they’ll believe there is a reason to feel shame. I want them to feel like we do – that it is what it is – so let’s deal.

I left there feeling warm and fuzzy. And then I came home and cried that Gage is having a normal start to the year. He’s within normal 1st grade development and he’s behaving like a normal 1st grader. I cried because I realized as I was sitting there that I haven’t felt like the parent of a normal classmate in a very long time, in spite of that pesky kidney transplant thing.

* Dr. KATB has just informed me he’s taking some time off to finish a research project. I’m not pleased that he will be unavailable for 6 weeks. I’ve speculated that this research project is about a certain little behaviorally challenged boy…

** For us this could be as simple as keeping his hands to himself OR in Gage’s specific case he’s not tripping deaf children in the hallway, which sadly, last year was reported on a day his teacher said was a good day. Really, when I said "That doesn’t sound like a good day" she replied "Trust me, it is."