Dear Quinn,

It’s your birthday. You are 5 today. I can’t believe it’s already the end of September. In 2006.

Sweet Quinny B. You are such a character. You are every bit a fireball and I can’t wait to see you when you are 10. When you are 20. You have a feisty personality that will bring you far in your life. It’s what will help you with your challenges with your funky eyes and your not-so-great kidneys.

And let’s talk about your kidneys. We’ve always know that your kidneys would be problematic in your life. We learned early on that you would need one maybe more kidney transplants in your life. We learned that you would always be taking meds, and you would always have strong relationships with many doctors. You have taken all of this in stride so far. Just last week your Gagey had a catheter put in and began dialysis and you said "when will I get a catheter?" and also "when will I get to do dialysis?" Perhaps it’s a blessing that you see it so positively right now. Perhaps that is what protects your little head from grasping what in reality is going on with Gage.

You are a smarty girl. That is what I call you when you try to read or you pick out letters from signs or talk about something you learn – my Quinn, The Smarty Girl. Every week for school on Friday you have to bring a bag of items that begin with the letter you are working on and you are very good with your bag work. It’s fun to watch your brain cells grow right in front of my face.

You love baths, reading, running, laughing, and jumping. Well, you just have learned how to jump in the last few months or so and when you did and both of your feet left the ground you had a look of amazement on your face. Smiling your biggest smile. One tooth gone and all. It’s pure joy to watch you learn something physical. Your therapist K really is the one that pushes you to try new things. You think you are playing but you are really working hard. K is sneaky that way.

Remember that feisty comment? That is both good and bad. You have a little temper. Not good. But you are extremely tough with all that is your life. Very good. Watching your brother go through surgery and dialysis and eventually a transplant and you knowing that you will as well is nearly splitting my heart in two. I pray for Gage’s well-being and safety and for your peace and understanding of the process he is going through. One of my biggest fears right this second is for Gage to have complications of any kind in part because I don’t want you to have to be scared thinking it could be your complication.

I believe in fate. I believe that you and I were meant to be together. I believe that I am supposed to learn many more things from knowing your soul. Seeing your smile and feeling your hugs and kisses are the highlight of my day and as long as I live they will be with me reminding me that all is right with the world. Thank you Quinny B, Smarty Girl for adding so much to my life. My heart is bigger because of you.

Happy Birthday.

Love, Momma