I’m afraid to type this for fear something will spontaneously blow up, but we have learned we are moving to the next step with a donor.

If you are the kind of people that are keeping score we have 4 potential donors (PD) that have turned in paperwork. That means they have signed on the dotted line to go through the first phase of testing – which is essentially a health screening background that the PD fills out and a waiver to offer blood for first round HLA testing (hospital screens blood two at a time). We have had two lovely women that have done this step and we have learned that they are equal matches. They are both one antigen matches. When this was realized, the coordinator asked that we be told which out of the two, based on labs, was a closer match to Gage. We all figured that would push one person over the other.

But the strangest thing has happened. They are equal matches on the next batch of testing as well. The odds of that happening, we’re told, are very unlikely. Because they are of the same age, and apparently the same genetic make up, we were given the task of picking one to move forward with complete testing.

This is not as easy as it sounds. So we did what any couple facing this would do: we made the two PDs talk (they know each other and we are all friends) and asked them to choose between them which one would go forward. They came back and said they couldn’t decide and that they were putting it back into our hands. They both were as equally motivated to donate to Gage. They were both as equally supportive of the other person to donate. And they were both equally willing to step up in case PD #1 is unable to donate for some reason.

You’re kidding me, right? No. They weren’t kidding.

We spent a couple of days discussing it and we were stuck. After all, we didn’t want one to feel that we wanted the other person’s kidney more or weren’t appreciative of the offer (I know this sounds crazy). And there was no clear way to determine which would be best for timing. They both have flexibility. They both have supportive families. They both are giving, loving, wonderful people who just want Gage to have a new kidney and chance at a more normal life.

So, what did we do? Flipped a coin. All of the testing in the world at our fingertips, and we flipped a coin.

Our goal is for PD #1 to move through testing quickly. And with the help of a dedicated transplant coordinator, a little luck, and a whole lot of persistence on the part of PD#1 we’ll have some answers by the end of February.

Remind me to tell you about keeping my expectations low in the interest of protecting my heart from breaking.