Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.  ~G.K. Chesterton

Dear Jody,

How do I start this letter on the evening you gave my child a chance to live off of a machine? A chance for him to grow up?

To live.

For the years I have known you and you showed a genuine love for our family and in particular our struggles, I would have never guessed that you would have offered to make such a sacrifice. Never in any corner of my mind could I have guessed we would have found ourselves seeking a donor outside of our immediate family for a kidney for our first child in kidney failure. I never suspected our donor walked through the same church hallways as our family.

At times during this entire experience as we attended that church, our faith waned. It wasn’t always strong. Some days I went through the motions of walking in faith just to survive the day. I didn’t have any idea that our faith sat in the same pews we did and heard the same sermons and songs.

Who could have imagined that nine years ago, while I was 6 months pregnant with Gage, we would buy a pumpkin from that small corner church and set in motion the events of today? If that doesn’t show me G0d’s love and grace, I truly don’t know what would. If I can’t hang my beliefs on those events lining up in perfect timing for all of us being on a spiritual path to faith then really, what could?

I’ve always believed that our path to that special church which surrounded us with G0d’s love from the time we had a healthy baby, then a baby with an eye problem, then two children with a life-threatening disease into a life filled with uncertainty. The people in that church showed me what faith was; and I often felt it surrounding me when it didn’t live in my own heart.  You have shown me. And our next donor in line showed me. I had proof! It was tangible.

What I hadn’t expected to feel was fear and joy at completely equal amounts at the same time. Today, I don’t know where my fear stops and the joy starts. But what I do know is that you are at the center of that joy.

And well, as your daughter pointed out it seems strange now that although we’re unrelated blood (technically, although that’s questionable since your blood lives in our son), we’re family in this new unexpected, unique and surprising way. We’re more like sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews. Becca said she wants to call me Aunt Julia. I’m honored.

Thank you seems so inadequate tonight as you are recovering, but I know you want nothing more from us than to help Gage live his best life. Thank you Jody for your gift. And thank you to your entire family for their support and love. I have a love so deep in my heart for you and your family it might burst at the sheer thought of your gift.

Since today has come and is almost gone, I’m coming to realize that my faith was with me all along…and it was you.

With my most sincere gratitude and admiration and love,

Julia, Gage’s Proud, Lucky Mom

Jody is in recovery. She states her pain is at a 4 out of 10. Her husband states she is pale, a little puffy, but talking and taking ice chips. We were calling him to tell him that Gage’s kidney had blood flow to the new kidney.

Then about 30 minutes later they said that Gage was leaving surgery. It’s 2:15EST and Dr. Steady Hands told us that Gage did great. No unexpected problems. No blood loss. The Dr. told Becca (Jody’s daughter) that her mom "had a fine looking kidney."

Gage is waiting to get a recovery spot, then we’ll be able to see him in the ICU in an hour maybe two.

We’ve enjoyed having Becca with us today. It was special to celebrate on our end with her about her mother’s gift. We are extremely grateful for Jody, her supportive family, and her fine looking kidney.

We love you…our donor family. Well, more than a donor family. Just family.

Gage had a restful night after an 11:30pm snack of pretzels. He did extremely well, all things considered. I sleep well and apparently very hard, as I didn’t wake up to my phone alarm (which is amazing because it is annoying) in order to call Jody this morning. Bad me. I did however speak with her husband after she went into surgery. He said they were fine and doing well during the wait. He mentioned that it was strange that we were separated by hospitals, but he said he felt connected to us in a strong way. Yeah.

Gage is in surgery. We left him at about 10:55EST. He cried a little when he was wheeled away from us, but Ginger and Lauren (CLS) were with him. I was fine until he couldn’t see me then I lost it. I think being strong for him and in front of him finally caught up with me in front of staff elevators outside the O.R. I had to bend over to catch my breath because the moment of being separated from Gage before this surgery was overwhelming for me. After having come so far, and him having been through so much…the excitement at the outlook of Gage’s future, the shear fear at how major this surgery is, and the need to express, but unable to express the emotion surrounding Jody’s gift, well, I just lost it.

We expected that surgery will be between 5-6 hours and recovery another hour or so (?) before we can see Gage. We’re hoping it will be between 6-7 tonight in the ICU.

Julian just left a few minutes ago to take Quinn to see Jody’s daughter through the hospital tunnel and he called me. He ran into Dr. Steady Hands…

who was carrying Jody’s kidney. Gage’s new kidney.

What are the odds?

Dr. Steady Hands said it looked "great" and all was well.

This is really happening at this very moment.

Yeah.

Pics from this morning…

Some photos from today and tonight…

Gage’s kidney send off cake from his class. They also sang friendship songs, handed out "kidney shaped" jelly beans, asked questions about Gage’s surgery and recovery and in the end hugged and hi-fived my boy. I was fine until we were leaving and Gage’s teachers started to hug me and the tears started to flow…

When the dialysis nurses hugged us goodbye I started to cry a little bit too. How exactly does one say thanks for saving my boy’s life the last 6 months? Then there is a picture of Julian and the kids snuggling in Gage’s bed in the first of 3 rooms for our stay. And can we all agree this will all most certainly be hard on Quinn? Julian had to pull her out of my arms to leave tonight and she was screaming. And in this picture she’s pulling out her eye lashes. Yikes!

In what proves to be one of the most touching things (there are many) people have done for us, our church’s sanctuary will be open tomorrow for a prayer vigil from 8am-3pm for those that want to drop in throughout the day to pray for Gage and Jody.

If you are an in real life friend and need to know where our church is please email me. It’s on the corner near our county’s hospital by the same name.

It’s completed in the nick of time I know, but I have officially done the Getting Your Craft On challenge for March.

The theme was Recycle! So, there is a lid from a fresh prepared plastic food container and wine corks that have been sitting unused for months.

There’s nothing one can’t do with a hot glue gun and insomnia!

Lots of tears have been shed this weekend for Jody’s Grandmother Sarah. She passed away early Saturday morning. She was 88 and her dealth was unexpected.

I understand from Jody that she was a very sweet Grandmother and that Jody has the most fondest memories bubbling up to the top as I type. Grandmother Sarah was clearly well-loved.

Her funeral is Tuesday. Transplant day. Unavoidable as to the day that was chosen.

Before Jody called me late Saturday, she’d already spoken to her surgeon, who had talked to our surgeon (Dr. Steady Hands) and knowing that there was an opening for surgery due to a cancellation agreed that they could do the transplant on Friday instead of Tuesday.

Jody explained that her father, son of Sarah, had encouraged her to keep the surgery day as Tuesday but obviously she was torn. Carry on as scheduled to give Gage a kidney? Or attend the funeral (a long drivable distance) and postpone the surgery? We explained that we were in support of her if she wanted to postpone the surgery. She said she was leaning towards keeping the surgery as scheduled but that she would sleep on it and let us know today.

We waited. I cried. I was torn. I was supportive of the decision to postpone. But I thought…is it never easy for my boy? How selfish of me. And that made me sad. But then, how could we not be behind Jody’s decision to postpone to be with her parents at certainly a difficult time for the family – when she is literally saving my son’s life. 

We spoke to Jody this afternoon and she wants to go ahead as planned. She’ll be missing the funeral of her beloved Grandmother, Sarah. I can’t even express what I’m feeling about her decision to stay with Tuesday as their day, except to say that Jody, I bet your Grandmother was kind and generous. I bet she had a ready smile, and a deep loyal love for her family and friends. I bet she made you laugh and was there for you with a gift or a thought or prayer. I bet that she would probably do whatever she could for a child she loved.

How do I know this? She is a part of you.

Grandmother Sarah, goodbye. Thanks for the part you played in creating the generous spirit of Jody. Your legacy lives on…

I wonder what our PFF will be next week…

Here are pictures from a couple of weeks ago. Gage and Quinn are enjoying the slope in our back yard. You’ll notice that this slope is largely packed southern clay dirt. I think they spent about 2 hours outside one rare evening after school. We skipped karate this day so they could have a normal afternoon of play after school. Then we had dinner on the deck.

Looks like it was worth it, doesn’t it?

And well, the other picture is my Quinn showing me some love.

Gage wasn’t feeling well last weekend and Saturday I told him that if he was well enough to play, we’d be writing out his Birthday thank you notes. Later, he mentioned that he didn’t want to get up to go pee.

"Why Gage?" I asked, to which he replied, "If I get up you will make me write thank you notes."

*********

At the prayer service on Sunday as Gage was being prayed over in a quiet sanctuary he burped. As Gage got off my lap after prayer around Gage, I asked Quinn if she wanted a turn.

"Why?"

*********

I asked Jody a personal question today, then said: "Feel free to tell me it’s none of my biz. But I’ll remind you that our family will have a body part of yours, so you can tell me anything."

Here’s the latest…

• They drew another 15 vials of blood from my boy. They will do a final cross match on them to make sure Gage hasn’t developed antibodies that would make him reject (Jody says the "R word") Jody’s kidney. Since Gage hasn’t gotten any blood products EVER this should not be a problem.
• Gage will be admitted on Monday night after dialysis. A room may or may not be ready for us. They will draw labs at dialysis.
• Surgery will begin for Jody first. Sometime around 7:30am. Gage a little later. Although now that we are for sure taking one kidney out, he may start earlier.
• Gage’s surgeon will go and get the kidney. This sounds strange to me, but he will go to Jody’s OR across the street and be on the phone with Gage’s OR. He will check the kidney. Clean the kidney. Pack it on ice for the long trip across the street.
• There’s a very, very small chance that rejection could occur from the blood flow to the kidney being cut off. When this happens, there is no warning. He doesn’t expect it of course, but the small chance is there.
• We’re very happy with our surgeon and the nephrology team that will take care of Gage from here on out. We’re lucky.
• We were reminded that transplant is a treatment – the best available for both Gage and Quinn – and not a cure.
• After three months with no rejection the odds of rejection go down.
• The most fragile time for rejection in the future will be when Gage is a teenager with an attitude. We’re hoping his time on dialysis will help our cause that meds need to be taken. And well, no meds, no computer. No meds, no car. No meds…and Mom and Dad come to have lunch with you everyday during your high school career.
• Gage wants a picture of his new kidney and his old one. The surgeon (dang, I need to get a moniker for him) agreed that if we give him a camera he will take pictures. Gage was very pleased. So was Jody because she had wanted a picture, but she didn’t ask her surgeon.
• Gage weighs about 48 lbs and is about 3′11". That surprised me. Quinn is about the same.
• We’re reminded that in some ways we are just swapping old problems for new ones. And we gladly accept these because for Gage it means improved quality of life.
• All of Gage’s anti-rejection drugs will be compounded to be liquids, as the boy has a gag reflex and texture issues like you would not believe.
• We’ll visit the clinic two times a week for labs during the first month or so. This delights Gage because he will get to visit the dialysis unit and see a special friend there. This part doesn’t faze me in the slightest because anything less than 20 hours a week (and it better be) at the hospital seems like a gift.
• Then visits will be once a week, then every other week. You get the idea. The visits will decrease if there are no signs of rejection.
• Gage will be in the ICU for a day or two, depending. Then he’ll be in the hospital about 7 days. He should be up and walking in two days or so, depending of course.
• Quinn had her appointment today with our nephrologist. She’s overall doing okay. She’s got stomach problems and I’d been worried. Turns out she’s constipated and is now on a daily drug to help keep things moving nicely. She also is on some allergy eye drops until her irritation goes away, which we suspect is due to Spring pollination.

No matter how much we prepare ourselves through prayer, discussing it and living it we still can’t believe our 8 year-old son will be getting a kidney in less than a week. We can’t believe that people lined up to donate to him. We can’t believe that Jody wants to do this, that she believes she was called to do this. It’s like the space shuttle take off; until it actually happens, it’s not done. It could all change at any minute.

But today? We have hope. And that’s enough for me.