I have a lot to say about where we are as a family adjusting to life post transplant for Gage but I am having a serious writing block. Work is busy. Kids are out of school. I’m not myself for some reason. I guess you could say I’m blue. This transplant has impacted me more than I thought it would and I’m still processing a lot of feelings. This is a happy problem to have, but I am struggling.

It’s not just skipping through the wild flowers, you know?

Gage’s gently used kidney is working great. He’s doing well with meds, blood draws, doctor visits and we’re thrilled that he has good energy these days. But he is in extreme pain. In his legs – it is muscle, joint, bone pain – we’re not sure. The transplant team is stumped. They have never seen this particular symptom in any other post transplant ped patient (of course) so they are not sure what to do. Spoke with the pharmacist for drug side effects? Check. Ankle x-rays? Check! Hip x-rays the following week? Check! All doctors and nurses watching Gage walk and run down the hall with quizzical faces? Check! Check! And check!

It was ever so much more noticeable while we camped over the weekend. Normally Gage would have hiked it up all weekend, leading the way. Not so this trip. Only one hike. And part of it Quinn was able to keep up with him. This is sad people! Because that Quinn is the slowest walker on the planet. He’s now almost on around the clock Tylenol Meltaways (I bow down to the person that invented those because Gage can never have Motrin again) for the pain for a little relief and frequent ice packs. This hasn’t slowed down him wanting to play but he shuffles his feet now like an old man and if he tries to run, his arms are moving forward and backward like a speed walker in a race.

After only being able to set an appointment for July 2 with his orthopedist (yes, we have one of those too) I called his nurse and pulled the kidney card. Left a 5 minute message about Gage’s pain, the fact that the transplant team has run out of ideas of what it could be and that Gage really needs to be seen before one month from now. Big points for the nurse who called back within 5 minutes (the amount of time it took her to listen to my long message) and set an appointment up for Monday at 4:15. It will cut into his crafting time at Clay Play art camp, but we’ll deal.

I told Julian that Gage probably has a side effect from one of the drugs that happens in 1 in 2 million people, a side effect that no one is considering at all, because "that never happens" — we’re lucky like that.

Speaking of lucky. We, as in the couple we, are off to a weekend at Four Seasons to celebrate our anniversary. Lucky 13. It’s been in the planning for months. And it’s luxurious. And we don’t feel guilty at all. We are planning on spending time remembering why we liked each other in the first place. And I imagine we’ll discuss how it is we came through all of this more deeply committed to each other, despite the obvious challenges. Because we are together in this thing called life. We’ll connect again, because your child’s transplant can get in the way of that I tell you. And we’ll be having glamorous dinners of five-star dining, where the chef will greet us and our server will be over-tipped. We’ll have room service. And massages! And well, a lot of mad, passionate sleep.

What are your plans for the weekend?