I’m holding it together enough to keep things moving, no matter the lack of response so far. Am not holding it together in other ways. Like talking to Julian. Or Gage’s therapist. And my mom better not call right now, because I will completely lose it with her, and that wouldn’t help at this particular moment in time.

- Gage’s ped called and said they won’t prescribe anti-depressants. Says for me to get some psychiatrist’s names and run them by her. Alrighty.

- Haven’t heard from Dr. Wonderful since yesterday – assuming the Chief of Psychiatry there is waiting for CoP here to get back with him about ped people.

- Haven’t heard from Dr. Kind about her take on all this. Left a message for her Thursday (or was it Wednesday?).

- Left a message for the transplant team to let me know if they had any names of ped physiatrists affiliated with Children’s.

- Did get a lengthy report on all the negative things about my son, though (provided by his therapist).

- And on the way over to said therapist, Gage talked about a guillotine and about his own head being covered with a mask. “You know Mommy, the kind you have when they bring you up from the dungeon.” Calmly, I say, “I bet you feel so sad inside to think that…I bet Ms. Play Therapist would like to hear about that.” He said, as he might say, “I’m thirsty.”

- There’s the whole insurace thing. Must find someone on our HMO plan. Quickly.

Yeah.

I can’t seem to get anywhere fast with help. Am in tears through emails and calls to people.