This much I know.
The reason I know this is because I do it a lot in the care of my kids and they do it a lot. We wait for results of tests, we wait in waiting rooms, we wait for doctors and nurses to get back with us. We wait for kidneys to fail. We wait. We wait. It completely sucks. And this time is no different.
We saw the psychiatrist today and gave her the back story. She only met Gage briefly because, well, he has a very long back story. She only met Julian briefly because is wasn’t necessarily one of the days where Gage is compliant. He wasn’t mean while being non-compliant, but he was all over the place. And one of the things you can’t do with Gage on one of these days, is leave him to his own devices.
The receptionist had mentioned there were “toys” in the waiting room when I set up the appointment. Now you know where I am going with this, right? Because a few stuff animals on a sad, worn out shelf, in a large, open waiting room does not equal “toys.” So Gage was unimpressed with the “toys” but he did love the hallways that led to nowhere and he loved the scary basement, and he loved all the nooks and crannies in the place. In fairness to them, they said it is a new* office.
Gage will have to wait for medication for his clinical depression – if that is what she thinks he has when she is done with her evaluation. Who knows how long. When I spoke to Dr. Kind last night I told her this would happen. I told her I didn’t think I would walk out today with a prescription for my boy. “A month, at the very least!” I said. She was shocked. I said you know, I am sure it will be at least a couple of weeks for his evaluation and then reporting, then the back and forth. “Really?” she says. This much I know.
Gage has to wait. For almost every little bit or big bit of treatment. While I know in my reasonable type of person brain that this doctor is doing her job it’s still frustrating for my non reasonable type of person brain. I explained my frustration about this because I sincerely just want my son to be able to cope a little bit better. Oh, and I did mention I’d like to take the edge off of his death wish.
When I told the good doc how “I knew it! I knew it would take so long! It’s just never easy!” I can’t be sure, but I think she kinda gave me a verbal slap…asking/telling me that she was sure I didn’t want her to “do harm” because as a doctor, safety is her priority. She also said that it only took a day to get in for an appointment. While that is true, the wait was 4-6 weeks for the two doctors that were referred to me for this appointment. And well, the only reason we got in the next day was because she was NEW and doesn’t have any patients yet. So I don’t think that counts. I did tell her that it took me a week to find her and I had to go through a doctor in another state for a name. Blah, Blah, Blah.
I said, “I deserve the right to be frustrated, don’t I?” She had to agree. I have to say I did think it was funny that she told me I could have gone through the Children’s Hospital (transplant team) psychologist and that might have helped us get there quicker. HAHAHAHAHA! I know the two entities are closely tied in function and proximity, but that person just referred me to my own behaviorist! She didn’t even know about the Child Mood and Disorder Center.
She was nice enough, however slow this process will take. Gage talked with her; well he answered her anyway.
So, the plan, before she will consider medication is…
- Appointment with Julian for his take
- 2 Appointments with Gage
- Talk with Dr. Kind
- Talk with Special Ed teacher
- Talk with Play Therapist
- Talk with Transplant Team
Now, you know this is going to be some back and forth between this crowd of people. This is not a process that will happen quickly. I am saying that I think we have a 5-8 week for meds, and that’s IF she thinks he needs them.
So, we’ll just wait. And even though I just wrote all of this to get it out of my system…guess what?! It still sucks! That much I still know!
* “New” wouldn’t necessarily be the word I would use to describe this office. It’s in an old mental hospital. And it looks every bit like an old mental hospital. Like horror-movie, strapped-a-person-down-in-the beds, mental hospital.
I know you’re right, she is just covering her bases as a medical professional.
But isn’t it amazing that the average kid could buy drugs at school? But to get a troubled child, who’s already been through medical nightmares,on medication when he’s talking about wanting to die, takes 13 doctors, 3 psycho-analysts, 2 teachers, and one mother who absolutely won’t quit, regardless of how many hurdles you throw out in front of her while’s she’s running to keep her child’s health in check?!
Yes, I’m exaggerating, but it seems like they just keep making this harder. It’s frustrating to read. I can’t even imagine how much more frustrating it must be to live it!
You’ve had an umbelievably rough, week, month and year! I’m going to pray that somebody, somewhere, cuts you a break! Sometime soon!
Don’t give up, I know you never do!
Jenn
It IS so frustrating to get help for your child when it comes to emotional/psy/mental issues. The wait is ridiculous. What if this were the doctor’s child, would they wait like the rest of us? I think not. I do hope & pray the doc gets all she needs and gets back to you soon with some help for Gage.
Julia,
We’ve gone through some behavioral issues with our son – not quite on the level that you are going through at the moment, but some of your earlier posts on Gage rang true a little with me. We made a short attempt at medication to see if it would help and it didn’t – probably due to resistance on my son’s part more than anything else. One other thing which was recommeded by the psychiatrist that does seem to be helping is use of Omega-3 fish oils in his diet. It seems to help him control his temper and reduce his frustration. He usually takes Coromega, which is a pudding-textured product that he’ll usually mix with yogurt. I have no idea whether this would help your son or not, but it’s healthy stuff anyway, you don’t need a doctor’s prescription for it, and the only waiting you’ll need to do is at the checkout line at the local health food store!
Bob,
The past behavior we did behavior modification programs with him (at the tune of 4 years and $3,000+ working with a behaviorist) but this behavior is different. He’s sad and unengaged with life and aggressive because of his unhappiness. All bets are off because he says he wants “to die.”
About the fish oils – I wish I could use them without reservation but I can’t. I know people say they help and if I had a physically normal child, I would try it. But I can’t risk it interfering with any of the meds he is on – I just won’t risk the borrowed kidney.
Leave a comment