Gage hit a girl in the face today after a struggle with a book. HER book. The teacher saw the whole thing. On Friday he kicked a kid in the back. So, many discussions and notes and emails are flying around.

- Julian is out of town and feels guilty, which is stupid because this also happens when he is in town. Like Friday. And last Monday.

- One more hit and the simple battery charge at school = one day suspension. Which is exactly what he wants – he doesn’t want to go to school.

- Advice was given to work his butt off at home. “If he wants to get physical, get him physical” which is fine advice, except he doesn’t mind cleaning and chores. And of course, he’ll have all of our attention during this suspension, which also doesn’t help.

- His special ed teacher is hosting Gage’s in-school suspension tomorrow and promises to make it as miserable as possible.

- IEP meeting on Thursday. Principal is coming.

- I am going to call and see if we can change psychiatrists. Our current one only works 2 days a week, and I think we need someone who is there full time.

- I think the current things Gage likes are: after school care and cub scouts. If he hits/hurts those go away this week. Immediately. When I told Gage “No extra activities” he said “so, no more piano?!” because he says he hates piano now. I said, “Well no, then you will go twice a week!” Clever, I know.

- I am going to call information on the out patient facility for kids 4-12. Apparently they attend school then 3 hours a day there, from 3-5 days a week. Reminds me of dialysis, except without the life threatening thing. Unless you count death talk.

- Gage is now off of any remnants of fun things he had at home to do, like game boy and legos. Gone.

- His special ed teacher recommends that we up his time again so that mornings he is in her room. Two hours in the morning, then afternoon one-on-one help in the classroom.

This is not the boy we know. Not the happy boy who seeks fun and laughter and tree climbing. The boy doesn’t ever want to leave the house anymore. He doesn’t really care about seeing friends. Well, except for his cousin, Andrew.

My boy is slipping away before my very eyes. And I feel desperate to try anything, but I am not hopeful that anything will work. Most days I wonder if we will ever reach him and I wonder what his future holds.

I’m just so sad for him.