As part of Gage’s play therapy extension work at home, he’s to discuss his emotions. How he feels. For those that have been reading along with us, you know Gage doesn’t really talk a ton about his emotions. He might talk about his experience but not necessarily how they relate what he is feeling about his experience. Those are two very different things I have learned…relating an experience and expressing a feeling about the experience.

So anyway, we’ve been working on different ways to get him to talk about how he feels. A week and a half ago Ms. Playtherapy told Gage that he if had 4 discussions over the week with us about how he feels, then we could skip a week of play therapy. He readily agreed to that deal.

Over the week we usually have a general feeling discussion at dinner, without pushing. We eat together nearly every night (one of my fondest memories from my childhood and very happy we’re able work this into our life) at 6pm. Gage isn’t usually communicative to begin with, but we can almost always start a conversation he is interested in where he might discuss a feeling. It can be a simple as him being confused or mad (he’s getting good at describing this feeling in relation to Quinn!). He’s not been able to talk about much joy because he hasn’t really had any for a long time.

But the tide is turning and the cloud over my dark boy is lifting. He’s experiencing some joy without a ton of effort on our part – regular joy like being outside again, climbing trees, wanting to play, or building.

So imagine my surprise last night at dinner when this conversation took place over…

Me: “I know you kids were sick today and home, but did you have an okay day? Were you happy or sad today? Are you happy or sad right now?”

Gage: “I am the H word.”

Whoever would have guessed the H emotion was a dirty word? But I guess to someone who hasn’t been H for a long time, it felt like a foreign emotion he hasn’t yet fully embraced again, like it will be taken away somehow.

My poor,  sweet, occasionally H boy. Oh, how I love him and wish I could make it better, faster.