Excerpt from Trauma Through a Child’s Eyes (By Peter A. Levine and Maggie Kline) reprinted with permission from publisher.

Our Misunderstood Students

Because trauma is so prevalent but so misunderstood, so too are the children who are often living in a daily state of terror. Or, even worse, they are numb and unresponsive. Already anxious, these students find that the unpredictability of classroom demands and playground events heightens their arousal to an unbearable state. What might seem like ordinary stress to another student can be perceived as a life-or-death struggle. Vain attempts may be made to gain a sense of control by blaming others or through temper tantrums. The dilemma lies in the fact that for those suffering the effects of trauma, the threshold for tolerating sensations generated internally has been compromised. Because of this it may take very little external provocation to upset them. In fact, to the outside observer, it may appear as if antecedents are absent.

Without knowing the basic dynamics of trauma, educators have (naturally) been perplexed about how best to handle troubled students. Typically, these students have ben relegated to “catch-all” classifications such as conduct-disordered, ADHD, obsessive-compulsive, or even mentally ill. They are typically separated from their classmates and placed in special classrooms. Often they are labeled as “Emotionally Disturbed” or “Learning Disabled.” Frustrated teachers or parents may insist on medication as well. These solutions do not resolve the underlying cause of the problem; they are akin to watering the leaves of a dying tree while ignoring its roots. And often, these placements and labels can be a huge dis-service to students already suffering from overwhelming fear and rejection.

I had this post finished, but wanted to sit with it for a day and I’m glad I did. Because I rewrote it completely.

Gage is (Thank the Goddess) served (very well) by our special education department. Gage is labeled as “Other Health Impairment” but he is “Learning Disabled” because it takes him a long time to learn. And it takes a lot of people and a lot of behavior mod systems and time, time, time. Gage was born with Ocularmotor Apraxia (OMA), this is both confirmed by a diagnosis of a few docs who’ve seen it before (it’s rare, so not necessarily all docs have seen it) and by an ever-so slightly malformed piece in Gage’s cerebellum. For certain this impacts Gage’s learning as it is at the root of his learning challenges.

But the medical trauma? The trauma of hundreds of procedures has had its impact on his little soul. His near death experience? Has impacted who he would have been. It’s impacted how he feels about himself and how he projects himself. All of that experience – the big experience that has been his young life, impacts how he behaves. How he reacts to the world around him. How he interacts with peers, authority. It’s the reason I get the calls, the notes. It’s the reason for the charts and the rewards. It’s also what gets in his way of his learning. It’s the reason for my exhaustion.

We’re consistently working with Gage to help him find a voice about his experience and his feelings. As he matures, he’s beginning to understand the seriousness of his disease and treatments while reconciling the past experiences he’s endured. But we are a long way off from significant healing.

The scary side of raising kids with a disease or treatment or failure of a treatment that could kill them is that we never know what trauma is around the next corner. While we certainly don’t live each day with that sucky thought as our motto, it does make me wonder how the kids will do with their 2nd transplant or 3rd. Of the many struggles I face raising these kids in particular I worry most about their emotional well-being. Not easy or tear free. For any of us.