I had two good visits with Gage; one yesterday and one today. This is what we know:
- He was interactive with me. Both days we did nothing that we wouldn’t do with him living on the outside; we read a book, did a small puzzle, played a card game, played with a magnet board and read a couple of cards and notes together.
- He is on “One-to-One” orders right now and has been since he arrived on Wednesday. He said he can’t leave the unit or go to the gym or outside because of the order. The order includes 24 hours a day. So someone watches him sleep, too. He found it hard to sleep while someone was staring at him. The weekend person said she is going to give the doctor a good report for the weekend. He’s been compliant, participating and calm.
- Gage looked shaky yesterday but today I didn’t notice any of it. He also SAT with me FOR A WHOLE HOUR, which might not mean much to you folks with kids not living in a mental hospital, but for me? Pretty shocking. I know we were playing , but usually he’d rather take apart a chair than interact for an hour doing anything.
- I am so relieved that he is safe. Those first two days were rough for him, but on the outside? Unbearable. Parents shouldn’t have to hold their child and keep them in a “safe room” and watch them for 24+ hours. I mean we would have but I’m glad I don’t have the memory of it, even if I know it occurred. I’m so thankful there was a place for him. I understand it is the only place in Atlanta.
- I am not sure what Gage remembers from the episode. So far I know he remembers the safe room. Not sure he has a concrete memory of the spiraling out of control, and I hope he doesn’t.
- I get to see him tomorrow for an hour as well so I asked him if he wanted me to bring anything special. He mentioned a specific coloring book of his. He also enjoyed the notes and pictures I brought. His BFF, Laura sent a note and picture and as I left he and his STALKER were going to hang it up in his room.
- Things are very calm in the house without him here. I hope when he comes back some of that calmness remains. We’ve been in the war so long, I forgot what calmness felt like. I so badly want this to be a new beginning for him; a stepping stone to a better life for himself. And one that involves a better life for the other three in the family.
We will know more tomorrow when his doc is back on duty. We might get an idea of when he will be coming home. In the meantime I need to have an IEP meeting with the school so we can talk about reentry. The social worker told me Friday that the average stay is 5-7 days for stabilization. Wednesday will be one week.
If we are going to focus on anything it would be that Gage is out of crisis.
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Was this photo taken in the past few days since he was admitted?! If so, that’s one happy boy!
Oh he is so cute with that curly curly hair! I am so so so glad that the space was open just when you all needed it. How is Quinn doing? I hope you are resting!!!!
Lori, no, that picture is from vacation last month.
I don’t know how to say this correctly, so please take it the right way…
If Gage can change in six days with this dramatic/intensive therapy, I wonder if in retrospect this would have worked a long time ago.
Whatever works, works. So much the better. More prayers for a permanent solution.
i havent stopped thinking about you… was imagining the calmness in your house and your relief for his safety. with you i will pray this can lead to a new beginning for him and each of you. xoxoxoxox
Julia,
I haven’t commented in a while, but have been checking in with your blog occasionally and with Cheryl & Steve about how you guys are doing. I guess I haven’t been sure what to comment…so hard to know what to say and if anything would be helpful or encouraging to you. I do continue to pray for you and your family, and special prayers for Gage right now. You know, in another blog I read, I love how the mom describes her “mama-love” for her kids. It’s like no other love. I have to say, your “mama-love” for your Quinn and Gage just shines through so strong through your words. It’s amazing, really. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you strength for what each day brings, and I’ll pray for less turbulent days ahead for you guys…
As difficult as this is, I’m so grateful for the breakthroughs. Gabe is not only out of crisis but in this short time, he’s safe, calm, interactive. How healing for both of you to have a peaceful hour together. He’s also welcoming social contact with other people through pictures and notes. (Would it be weird for him if some of us mailed something? Quinn? You?)
Oh, I pray the peace and hope deepen. The “permanent” solution may only unfold day by day but there’s such great help available to you now. Exhale fully…JustMe’s OT friend said that’s the secret to getting a deep breath of relief. Ahhhh.
Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.
Ps. 31:24
Julia, you are such a strong, wonderful woman and mother. I admire the hell out of you for doing what needed to be done for you, your family, and Gage. Have been following your updates and am so glad that this is working so far; I will pray that he continues to improve and that when he comes home, it will be a new start for him and all of you.
I hope this is a turning point/stepping stone on a new path for Gage as well. I’m still praying for him and would be happy to send a note if you think he’d enjoy it.
Goober! When my oldest was a wee almost-3-years-old peanut butter and jelly was her favorite food…it was one of the few she would eat after her little sister was born and she adjusted to life as a big sister. My in-laws took us on a trip to Hawaii that year, and I’ll be darned if we could find peanut butter in any restaurants. One day we drove the (long) road to Hana with a screaming infant and a restless almost-3-year-old and 6 adults crammed into the same van…and when we arrived at the general store in Hana I found Goober! I’m pretty sure I looked just like Gage does in that picture.
Welcome home, Gage !
Julia, I don’t know if you remember me or not from a while ago from the PKD Atlanta Chapter, but my mom reads your blog so she told me the news. I am sure I don’t have the right words, but my heart breaks for you and your family at how you must feel to have taken this step. I can’t imagine how helpless you feel, but it seems like things might be going in the right direction for Gage. As someone said above I admire your strength and determination to do what is right for Gage (and Quinn). As a mom, I know I would do the same. I am praying for strength for you and Julian to get through this and just take one day (or hour) at a time. I am praying for Gage- he has to know how much his family loves him dearly.
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