Quinn has always known she had “bad kidneys.” Ever since ever we’ve been talking about how one day she’d need a kidney transplant, how she has to take a lot of medicine and how little kidney function would/does impact her day-to-day life.

We always spoken to her on her level, trying to let her be a little girl without the weight of failing kidneys on her shoulders, but also hoping she would gain an appreciation for a new kidney when the time came. I think we have always been realistic of the kid’s understanding…that probably goes to our trying to give them some normalcy to it all and not have too many highs or lows emotionally when dealing with their challenges. We’re trying always to make them feel normal, within our world of abnormal.

So Quinn, has always known things about her are different. Most of the time she’s fine with being different but every once in a while she’ll say something about how her friend are able to do this or do that.

Last Friday we had a snow day and a neighbor girl came over to play. Age-wise she’s smack dab in between the kids and can play with either, which speaks to her ability to do a lot of things well – she’s flexible to be interested in Quinn’s likes and yet also Gage’s likes, which are completely different likes. She’s a charmer of a girl and both the kids enjoy spending time with her.

While I was home (no driving on ice for this southern girl) watching Quinn and this girl interact I was a little awestruck. I just all of a sudden noticed how much she was engaged in the play. She’s really playing fast now. By fast I mean she is keeping up with the play – whatever it is – which wasn’t her typical speed. She just moved (moves) slower than other kids her age (and sometimes kids younger than her) because she has special needs. Of the developmental kind.

Kidney failure is a slow-moving disease for which sometimes the symptoms creep up on you unnoticed. Not like debilitating itchiness or back pain, or lack of restful sleep, but like concentration and patience and follow-through. She did do most things, but just slower. Play, school, chores. She always needed help to keep up or we needed to slow down…last to finish everything.

I’m not the only one who has noticed. Her special ed teacher said he noticed something similar. That she was just doing better after the holiday break. Even her writing has improved; from wonky to straight letters, straight across the page with no lines. It’s like 3 months after transplant the light bulb just turned on, or at least the brain cells are getting enough blood with a working kidney and her body is getting rid of toxins instead of hoarding.

A new kidney means kidney function, which takes care of her body. And to those around her that want her off of dialysis and alive, it is amazing. But kidney function to the little girl? Energy to play, brain cells to learn, and the ability to use those things to build friendships and memories.

That’s what kidney function means to Quinny B.