I’m going to take a couple of days off from the blog. I’ve been faced with some disturbing news about what I’ve been sharing about our family online and I need to process what I think about it. Honestly, I’m a bit shocked and hurt and I need to figure out the best way for me to deal with the news.

When I come back I hope to have a direction…keep the blog public? Make certain posts private? Remove the blog all together and just keep a journal? Screw it all and keep going as is? I’m torn because I think our story is an important one to tell, yet I don’t want sharing our story to cause more problems for my kids. Don’t they have enough? I’d rather they didn’t also have to worry about parents taking the information, talking about it negatively with their kids, who then will use the information against the kids. I’d rather parents not use the information to isolate my kids. I know, demanding, right? It’d be great if they used the information as a teaching moment of tolerance and acceptance, compassion and understanding. To teach themselves and their children.

I write my blog for me. It’s comforting to know there are witnesses to the good stuff and the bad stuff and writing here as been a safe place to land. It’s been good therapy for me and I’d like to continue it. I just need to figure out the format.

On my best days I think that sharing our story will teach someone tolerance for (all) kids with differences. Sometimes I think another parent might relate. If I share what is going on then as my friend Lori puts it, I will “Own My Message.” Because people will spin the story – most likely wrong – and speculate and if I want them to have the story right, then I had better well provide what I want out there in the world.

Never did I think my words here – always truthful and for my kids – would hurt them. Apparently a failing kidney (or 2) garners support but emotional problems will get you whispers, gossip and shunning.

If you don’t read it here or hear from me directly you don’t know if it’s accurate. If you’ve got questions, call me, email me or comment here. If you are around someone who is gossiping, send them to me. If you have negative things to say about my kids, or if you are worried about your kids being around my kids, talk to me. If you want to speculate, gossip and teach your kids to do the same, shut the hell up.