Quinnlin’s name tag in this picture pretty much sums up her feelings about getting labs this morning.

Remembering the BEACH where you played

When you worked TOGETHER

because you so RARELY do

I ETCHED it in my memory

Always hoping that one day you will work in SYNC again

Julian and Quinnlin dressed for their Father-Daughter Dance

As a daughter with a daughter I love to watch their relationship grow. Because I know that with each word said, each hug delivered, Daddy is instilling how we want a boy then a man to treat her; with respect and concern and love and consideration. Always hoping she believes that she deserves the best there is to offer and not settling for anything less than the man her father is.

Thanks Auntie Carol for the styling of the daughter of this duo.

I’m about as shocked as anyone on the planet that Gage was laughing and smiling and joking in the back see of my car on the way to an appointment this week. He and his BFF Laura were giggling about songs on the shuffle. Genuine giggles. I honestly nearly cried driving down the road, eyes fixed on the rear view mirror, afraid it was fleeting.

I had completely forgotten what his giggles sounded like. So at a stop light I took this picture because I wanted to capture it so I could remember the next time things get bad for him.

A 20 minute car ride turned into a flash.

A flash of a memory of what it felt like to witness joy from you.

Missing until recently, happily accepting it back into our lives, but afraid to welcome it freely.

Your joy.

We will fight for it to stay.

Read the sign…carefully.

He’s crazy funny sometimes.

Wishing and praying for Gage to run in any

direction his life will take him.

And for it to be his choice.

We were watching the sunrise in our pajamas on this day.

We counted the seconds until the entire circle of the sun was over the horizon of water.

It was windy and the kids were running and looking at what new gifts the ocean brought us.

The sunrise always brought the promise of something.

Gage, oh Gage.

You perplex me and amuse me.

At the same time.

You don’t go with the flow,

always fighting against it. Demons live in you

from your experiences, your mind boggling

experiences that saved your life.

Always a little off but never appearing to outsiders

there is a reason.

But you have a SPARK.

A spark that others sometimes cannot see

inside you with smartness, ingenuity

and resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness that kept you alive and fighting against

the challenges handed to you.

Gage, oh Gage.

How I love you.

We’ve been to see this Santa for 10 years now. The longest wait is about 10 minutes, but usually we can walk right up to him. He resides at a small mall around the corner, at least between 10-7pm, probably 7 days a week during December. We love seeing this Santa, although admittedly he’s been shrinking over the years, doctor’s orders he says to get healthy. He’s a lovely Santa who does a great job, and for two or three years standing behind the chair to hide from Quinn because she was having none of the white bearded man’s lap.

I present crazy tradition (Where Gage and Quinn say they know the Santas are fake) photo 2009, for which Quinn excitedly said, “I look like a teenager!”

And 2002

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it!

Remember when he was happy? And he didn’t talk about dying young?

I do.

I want him back.